Dimwits!

I’m sure each of us had encountered some situations where we had to deal with some “not so bright” individuals. Such times are usually testing moments and we would just want to get over with the whole situation as soon as possible so that we can move on unless if we have no choice but to deal with these “not so bright” individuals on a repetitive or ongoing basis. Each time I get myself into such excruciatingly painful situations, I still try to be nice to the other party but an incident today had me blow my top (both literally and figuratively)!

While I would usually head back to the same hair salon for my haircut, I somehow decided to step into a different shop this afternoon. I don’t really know what got into my mind but I figured out that there’s no harm for it’s nothing more than a haircut and since I’m not going for some fancy schmancy curls or latest hairdo, it’ll hardly make a difference. Well, I was proven wrong!

From the moment that “not so bright” stylist (whom I would from now on refer to as “cutter” since calling him a stylist would be an insult to the many other “real stylists” out there) started cutting, I sensed something was not quite right. Firstly, he seemed a bit jittery with the pair of scissors he was holding and secondly, he kept asking me if I wanted my hair to be shorter every 15 seconds. (You never hear an Indian barber asking that question and they would confidently proceed until when you tell them otherwise.) Whilst my guts told me that I should just stop and walk off, I thought he was one of the “nice” guys who wanted to make sure I left a satisfied customer in the hope that I would be returning. Hence, I ignored my guts and let him proceed.

After the cutting part was done, he took out the razor to shave the sides and when I requested it to be shaved a bit shorter, he then took out a pair of electronic clippers and that was when disaster struck. The cutter somehow clipped off one chunk (the size of a 20 cents coin) just above my ears. I was stunned and looked straight into his eyes through the mirror but he coolly mentioned that he can fix it. Well, I again made a dumb call when I agreed instead of stepping out and that was when the 2nd disaster struck. Mr cutter’s definition of repairing it was to clip off 2 additional lines!

I immediately got up and was on my way storming out with my new “Vanilla Ice” lines when Mr Cutter apologized; saying that he’s not good with a razor or clipper. Those explanation raised my blood levels to a new high for it’s almost equivalent to a cab driver saying he doesn’t know how to drive a manual car after crashing with a passenger in it or William Hung mentioning that “he’s not received any professional training and as such can’t sing or dance” but yet wanted to give a shot at being an American Idol. Well, at least Willian Hung is excused for he was just trying out at an audition but this cutter was running a business and he had the balls to state he was not good at what he was charging his customers for. I wonder if I can get away with that excuse when I screw up something basic at work the next time around. By the way, the cutter also reminded me that I had to pay up before I stepped out and apart from some profanities, I did mention to him that I should be the one asking for a compensation!

To cut the cutter and hair cut story short, I have my hair partially salvaged at the regular salon I go to but that too was after the stylist had a ball of a time laughing at me and reminding me why I should always go back to him. Now that I’m sporting my new “Vanilla Ice” lines with a patch in between one of those lines, I guess I now understand why some people have very little patience for “not so bright” individuals.

Personally, I would have no issues with the “not so bright” individuals and I would still continue being patient and nice to these folks who are probably trying to achieve something in their very own way. For those of you who are not already doing so, it’s probably good to give it a shot the next time such encounters happen. Afterall, a good deed goes a long way.

However, I do have a big problem with the “not so bright” dimwits who claim to be good at something they are absolutely terrible with. It’s almost equivalent to me claiming that I am a great chef who can cook up a Boeuf Bourguignon or Gratin Dauphinois when the actual fact is I can’t even tell what is what! I always wonder why people would claim that they are good at something when that is far from the truth. The truth would eventually be revealed to their embarrassment and hopefully, these dimwits would realize that nothing goes undetected for long. There’s a famous Malay proverb that goes “sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga” which literally translates to “even squirrels who’s good at climbing and jumping from one tree to another would eventually come to ground”.

Now that my anger had subsided a wee bit, it’s probably best to end this with the moral of the story which is to never claim to be good at something we are not familiar with. Admitting unfamiliarity from the beginning garners higher forgiveness and others might even offer to coach us to be better. In contrary, if it were to be discovered by others after us claiming to be supposedly good at it, chances of being termed a dimwit would be extremely high. I for one would have little patience for such dimwits such as the one who literally and figuratively blew my top off.

For the time being, I guess I should settle with getting used to the new Vanilla Ice lines – at least that would have to be the case for the next 1 to 2 weeks before I return for further salvation at non other than my regular stylist.

That Time of the Year

There comes a time each year when tunes of “Jingle Bells” and “Deck the Halls” gets blasted repeatedly almost everywhere you go. Concourses in shopping malls and display windows of shops would be filled with Christmas trees and snow flakes; Santas and Santarinas would be roaming around giving away product leaflets and offering to have their picture taken with passers-by. One cannot miss the fact that Christmas is just around the corner and I simply “love” this time of the year.

Somehow or rather, people become more friendly and light hearted during this time of the year and this makes the year-end period a good time to go out to mingle and socialize. Even the workplace becomes a lot more bearable as customers will be pushing aside all tough negotiations for the time being and bosses suddenly seem to have higher tolerance for misses in sales forecast. If I recall correctly, I read some survey indicating that the month of December is when the most alcohol is being consumed, most money spent on shopping and also the month with the lowest productivity in the workplace. These data points then brings to life the equation that more booze + higher purchasing power + less work = Happy Society.

Christmas and the year end period have always been a good time to get together with family and friends after a gruesome 11.5 months at work, school or whatever it is that have been keeping us occupied for most part of the year. It is also the time to exchange presents, send greeting cards and to throw parties. While most of us would get excited and enjoy being on the receiving end; that is to receive cards and presents, the giver does have their fair share of joy too. That is something I discovered this year as I decided to send out festive greeting cards with personalized notes to several people who have played a special part in my life throughout the year. The gleam in the eyes of the individuals I chose to present the cards to made the hassle of choosing the cards worth the while and I derived boundless satisfaction judging from the glee of the receivers.

As was mentioned earlier, everyone seems to be more compassionate and friendly and everything suddenly seems to come to a halt in the last week of the year. Hence in the true spirit of the “festive period”, I would be keeping my ramblings short and simple this time around before attempting the other “must-do” during the year end which is a post-mortem aka review of the year. In the meantime, I shall just sit back and chill with a couple of drinks and wish everyone a Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas!

*By the way, I also read somewhere that August & September are the months with the highest birth rate. I wonder why it’s nine months later and not in December.

IF

If I had a choice, I would have said no.
If I could turn back time, I would have done it differently.
If I had more time, I would have been able to come up with something better.
If I had been given the same guidance and support, I would have been able to outdo the other person.

If, if, if…. If only people would stop using the word “if”, life would be so much easier! Matter of fact is that most of us live in the unreal world of “ifs” and constantly ponder upon what could be. If you happen to be one of them - Wake up! All of us need to start realizing that what could be would always remain as what could be. In the real world which we all live in, “if” is an unreal word and the 2 letters – I and F would probably be better off as an acronym for “Ignorantly Foolish”.

Why “Ignorantly Foolish” one might ask? I have very little patience for those who has this noun as part of their daily vocabulary and I often hit myself each time I overuse this word. Being normal mortals, none of us could possibly control or determine the situations we are in and “if” is wishful thinking for those hoping for what could be. If we could all predict what is to happen, all of us would have been successful, multi-billionaires by now. There will be no beggars on the streets and every Tom, Dick and Harry would be living in a mansion and driving posh cars.

On the other hand, I have a lot of respect for individuals who often take tough situations and challenges into their stride and try their utmost best to make the most out of the less desired circumstances. This to me is the traits of an individual who deserves the finer things in life. These individuals are realists who live in the real world and are probably wise enough to know that whatever we hope and wish for would only happen if we were to work for it.

Recently, I was exposed to a phrase containing ten words with each word made up of only 2 letters. It might sound corny but I for one could not agree more with the phrase “If it is to be, it is up to me!” Simple as it might sound, this phrase is extremely powerful for it reinforces the power of each individual. More often that not, we would be blaming external conditions beyond our control whenever things do not fall into place. Little did we realize that why it turned out so was probably due to our own doings or “un-doings”.

If we had a choice, if we could turn back time, if we had more time and plenty other sentences starting with the word “if” are all statements made by people who probably did not realize that they did have the option in the first place. Despite being given a choice of yes or no, we could always come up with a third option had we thought about it. Separately, we could all have foresee what would be the outcome and consequences of a certain action had we spent a few minutes thinking about it before acting and this would then eliminate the need for us to turn back time. Finally, we all know that time is gold and there’s the famous saying that goes “time and tide waits for no man”. Our creators were extremely fair when creating us for each of us were given 24 hours a day – not a single second more and not a second less. If this fact is known to a 10 year old child, all of us should have been smart enough to plan our time accordingly instead of hoping for more time. Some “ignorantly foolish” individuals would instead put the request for more time on their Christmas wish list hoping that Santa would perhaps be kind enough one day to grant them a few additional minutes per day. Guess what? This will never happen, Of course, the exception would be a leap year whereby everyone would be granted an additional 24 hours in a year but that too is fair and everyone gets it.

Now that I’ve gone on and on in length about the word “if” which has probably appeared several times too many in the few paragraphs above, I shall draw down the curtains and leave with my parting thoughts. If only I could find the answer on how to anthropomorphize the word “if”, I would no longer be living in a world of “ifs”. Whilst I try to crack this, I would probably have to stick to the phrase containing ten words with 2 letters each. Funny thing is that phrase too starts with the letter “IF”!

A Beautiful Mind

Of late, snippets of the movie “A Beautiful Mind” starring Russel Crowe has been playing on my mind repeatedly. This movie which won plenty of accolades including four Academy Awards was based on a real life story. It was a biographical film about John Forbes Nash, the Nobel Laureate (Economics) mathematician who developed schizophrenia in his obsession with finding an original idea or theory. Throughout the process of coming up with the “next big thing”, Nash’s mind could hardly stop working and he started hallucinating, became delusional, increasingly paranoid and started behaving erratically.

Whilst Nash’s schizophrenia was not cured, he managed to move on with live and was ultimately able to largely ignore his psychotic experiences which included “ignoring” the imaginary people who were often surrounding him. This movie definitely ranks as one of my all time favorites and I could not resist drawing linkages between this movie and recent experiences I have encountered.

I was driving home on a Friday evening and there were several invitations from friends to chill out. At any other time, I would probably be the first to say yes to such invitations and that too if I had not been the one arranging for it. Nonetheless, it was very different this time around for as much as I would have loved to have a cold beer; I was both physically and mentally exhausted. Looking back at the week leading up to the slow drive home that evening, there was nothing too gruesome or taxing which left me wondering why I was feeling so lethargic.

It was then that I realized that a big part of the lethargy was due to my own doing. In the past couple of weeks, I have probably been working my mind “overtime” and to make matters worse, it was unnecessary thinking that took its toll on me. In case one might be wondering, I’m definitely not schizophrenic and I’ve yet to start meeting imaginary people. However, I have recently developed this “habit” of trying to read between the lines for almost every situation. Each time I have a conversation with someone; be it in a work-related or social environment, I’ve had the tendency to analyze if what was being said by the other party was meant to be understood the way it was addressed or could there be some hidden meaning that the other person is trying to imply.

I’ve had late nights trying to draw out various potential conclusions to simple conversations and this was definitely taking the zest out of many things. Being reclusive and not wanting to mingle much was probably some of the aftermaths of this unhealthy episode. Now that I’ve realized the kind of unnecessary torture I’ve been putting my mind through, it’s about time to take things easy and not think too much. Nevertheless, the resting could only happen once I’ve penned down my thoughts on the power of the mind.

I’ve read somewhere that an average human only utilizes between 10 to 12% of the brain’s capacity and Einstein whose name is probably synonymous to “genius” was utilizing 20% of his brain capacity. If a genius utilizes only 20% of the greatest gift to mankind, does it then mean that the power of the human mind knows no boundary? Come to think of it, a computer, a calculator, a space shuttle and countless other revolutionary and live-changing technology (including the PS3 and I-Phone) were all conjured by the human mind. This is probably testament to the fact that the human brain can do almost anything if we were to set our minds to it and the list of things would probably include some thoughts too scary and unbelievable to even mention.

Thankfully, there’s only one Einstein whose mind was mainly dedicated to sciences and physics for I cannot imagine a world with several million people utilizing 20% of their brain capacity thinking of how to outdo each other. It would be disastrous for that to happen as every other person you meet on the street would probably then be a Saddam or Hitler in the making whilst the remainder of the population would then be a Bush not knowing what’s happening next. I for one would not want to be living in such a world.

In that context, I should probably just put my mind to rest and not think about anything else apart from what is necessary. In the same spirit, we should all start calling a spade a spade; and interpret the spade as a spade if the other person says so instead of trying to read between the lines. That way, the mind would always remain beautiful!

Blinded by the Moment

This piece is dedicated to a friend whose “propositions” inspired me. You know who you are. : )

We have all probably been through a situation whereby we’ve been blinded by the moment. In that moment, the object blinding us could be love. It could be money, power, greed, people or anything else for that matter. In science classes back in my early schooling days, I’ve been taught that there are some blind spots that the eye would miss and I guess that being blinded by the moment would probably fall under the same classification. The bright side of this lies in the fact that we will somehow move out of the blind spot if we were to look at it from a different angle.

Having been blinded by the moment before, I would be one to admit that it more often than not revolves around desires, wants and perhaps even lust. It is only human for us to always want more yet we fail to realize that good things hardly come easy. A lucky spell of luck might hand certain things to us on a silver platter but most of the time, such situations only occur in fairy tales. I’ve been waiting for years now and I’ve yet to find a money tree. Neither has the girl of my dreams walked up to me to say hi nor had the banks called me to inform me that my loan repayments have been waived. In fact, I’m still dreaming for the day when I will wake up to be told that I have just inherited a million bucks!

Back to being blinded by the moment, I recently had an interesting tête-à-tête with a friend who was probably going through that phase. What made it more interesting was that this friend was blinded by more than one single thing at the same moment. Call it luck or pure mishap but what the friend was blinded with was a combination of money and lust. A proposition which combines both these elements was made to this friend who was on crossroads in deciding whether or not to pursue.

Looking back in retrospect, the same thoughts would have probably gone through my mind if I had experienced the same situation as my friend. In fact, I was initially urging the friend to go for “it” and we were both talking about reasons as to why it was perfectly fine to proceed. As the conversation went on, we had pretty much justified why “it” was perhaps the right thing to do. We did of course discuss the potential implications but since living with the consequences was something this friend could deal with, I myself thought that there was nothing wrong in proceeding.

As we were coming to end the chat in consensus that there was nothing wrong in proceeding; something struck us. Apart from the potential implications, there must be some risks associated with wanting to go for “it”. We then started a risk assessment and analyze what could potentially go wrong. One by one, the risks and potential damages as well as possible losses started popping out and it made the initially “attractive proposition” offered to my friend a whole less attractive. By then, I was sitting on the fence; leaning towards a “no” whilst my friend was still partially keen to pursue the proposition.

The turning point was when the question of “what would you lose if you opted out” popped up. To that, we both realized that nothing would have been lost if the choice was not to pursue. On the other hand, there could be some losses and damages which would probably be left “incurable” had the choice been to proceed. No doubt, there could be some potential gains but then again, those gains were not there to start off with. My conversation with the friend went on for a while more and we still kept in touch for a couple more days till this friend was affirmative and certain that the proposition was not worth pursuing afterall.

Having gone in circles on the story about the friend and the “proposition” being offered, I would draw back to the fact that being human; all of us are bound to be blinded by the moment. Temptations are always the mother of all evil but in this whole saga (that my friend was kind enough to share with me), I came to realize that we can never lose anything we did not have to start off with. As such, the moral of the story is that it is perfectly fine to be blinded by the moment but what matters most is not to be blinded for good. There will always be the temptation to go for more but we often fail to realize that we could potentially be losing a whole lot more if we were to pursue the greed, want or lust.

Having said all that, I guess it’s true that nothing comes easy. Whilst being blinded by the moment at times leaves us with the thought of what could be, we should always thank our lucky stars for what we are currently blessed with. What could be would always remain as what could be which might or might not be. If we chose to pursue what could be, we need to realize that we could potentially lose what "is". At the end of the day, I would now need to constantly ask myself “What would I be losing if I did not pursue." The answer to that question would most likely end up being "nothing would be lost" and it serves as a good reminder not to act foolishly.

For the time being, I guess I would have to politely decline the e-mail from Africa offering me a million dollars that would be banked into my account whilst I continue working my ass off to make that million myself.

Sabbatical

As I tried to get a proper understanding of the word “Sabbatical”, I referred to my Oxford dictionary and I was enlightened by the history from which this word was derived. Sabbatical comes from the word Sabbath which is a day of rest and religious observance kept by Christians on Sundays, Jews on Saturdays and Muslims on Fridays. There’s a whole load more to this word but in recent times, sabbaticals have been widely understood as an extended leave of absence. Based on my own interpretation, it is for a much longer period than the annual leave would grant and the only difference between a sabbatical and MIA (Missing In Action) is that the former is formally granted.

Back track a bit and one might wonder why I have suddenly developed such a keen interest for this word or any other words for that matter. In all truth and honesty, I was actually trying to find an explanation as to why I have had taken such a long break of absence from posting. (Not that anyone really cared or noticed anyway). Could I probably say that I was on a sabbatical from writing? Or would it sound better if I were to say that I was suffering from “writer’s block”. Either way, it would just be a lame excuse on my end when the actual truth was that I have had plenty of stuff I would have loved to write about but simply could not be bothered to lift my fingers to start hitting on the keyboard.

This would then lead to the next question of why the sudden keenness to write again. As much as I would wish to declare that I have found a new source of inspiration or experienced some life changing moments that needs to be penned down, the truth lies in the fact that I’ve probably been doing a fair bit of reflection and as a million and one thoughts starts running to my mind, I figured that the best thing to do is to pen it down. On a separate note, I was also probably influenced by a friend who has started writing all about nothing in an interesting manner though he would claim that his writings were devoted to life, liberty and happiness of pursuit as stated in his blog http://resident-dormitus.blogspot.com

Moving back to the word sabbatical, my personal definition for it would probably be “in avoidance” or “false escapism” as I struggle to understand why someone would need to take a long break of absence unless if it is under circumstances beyond our control which are usually tough and torrid such as the loss or potential loss of a loved one. In recent times, I have come across several acquaintances who have decided to take a long sabbatical in the context of trying to “search for the meaning of life” or “to reflect on it”. From the outlook, it might sound profound and philosophical but one corner of my mind tells me that this is merely an excuse to avoid the daily challenges that we face in the journey of life. A holiday or even an extended break is perfectly fine but with all due respect to those who have been on or planning to go on sabbaticals, my thought that it is a form of escapism would not be altered. Adding on to that, I am in fact a bit ashamed of myself at times when the thought of doing the same did cross my mind.

Now that I have returned from my “sabbatical from writing”, the past couple of months had been an interesting journey with plenty of ups and downs. I have experienced and witnessed so much that the thought of penning these priceless experiences down is by itself getting me all worked up and excited.

Purpose of Life

Have you ever wondered about our existence?
Were we brought into the world for a reason?
Are we supposed to serve a certain purpose?
What do we want out of life?
How do we want to be remembered when we are long gone?

If you have pondered upon any of the questions above, you are probably not alone. I am pretty certain most of us would have had put some thoughts to either one or more of the questions above. Some would think about it for a few minutes and park it aside without any answers whilst others on the other extreme would spend years trying to seek an answer. I’ve heard of and read of many individuals who take extreme measures in trying to seek an answer. Some resort to self meditation, some resort to a total change in lifestyle, some go berserk, some go into isolation and some just continue wondering; hoping that they would stumble upon the book of life with all the questions answered.

In recent weeks, I have been spurred to think about the questions and despite looking through a whole long list of books that would supposedly be able to shed some light on the subject, I could not find any answers. I then started openly discussing this topic with friends and after a conversation with a friend over coffee at 3am in the morning, it then dawned upon me that we actually have all the answers. No one will come along with the answers and neither will there be any book that would solve the mystery. The answers to the questions above would differ from one individual to another and no one would be able to provide a better picture if not for ourselves.

Some would belief in a higher calling; that we were created to serve the Almighty. Some belief in karma; that we are here to pay back the sins we have committed in the previous life or to reap reward from the seeds we had sown. There could be plenty more versions of how different individuals would view this from a different perspective. After some collective soul searching (as they call it), you too might have your own version of answers. I however choose to take a more individualistic approach. We have full control of our life as well as destiny. On top of that, we also have the choice on what kind of impact we can leave behind. We can be another person who was merely living a life; or we can choose to be someone who came into this world and left a significant impact by leading a meaningful, purpose-driven life. Dimitri Papokoulus who lives in a small suburb to the South of Athens might choose to be a husband, a father, a son and a loyal employee and his purpose in life would thus revolve around these choices. The likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King chose to be a servant of the people ahead of other routes and their life revolved around making a contribution back to society. They belief that the reason for their being is to improve lives and to bring others out of misery.

Having said so, I have sub-consciously found my own purpose. As idealistic as it might be or as corny as it might sound, I would want to “improve the lives of the people I interact with”. It does not necessarily mean that I would start revolutions and reformation activities. Neither does it mean that I would start an underground movement or a new ideology. In my own small way, I would want to see how I can make a difference. It could be a simple act of caring for a friend by lending a listening ear. It could be a simple act of smiling to a stranger in a lift. It could be a simple act of sending a greeting card to a friend I have not been in contact with for quite a while. It could also be a simple act of saying thank you to the waiter who delivers my lunch in a crowded restaurant. Small things like this could make a world of a difference to others without us realizing it. I myself have felt good when I was on the receiving end of such simple gestures.

With this, I would constantly and consciously remind myself that my purpose in life is a simple gesture of kindness that not necessarily requires much effort. Everyone can make a difference and this would be my way. The next time we meet, let me know how I can improve your life and I’ll be more than glad if I could.

Relinquishing Dreams and Vanishing Hopes

Can you recall the times when we were kids and asked about our ambitions? Most of us would have shared without batting an eyelid that we would want to be doctors, engineers, scientists or other aspirational professions. Along with that, we would have envisioned the monetary and financial rewards that come along with it. A 10 year old would envision living in a mansion with several luxury cars and by the time he reaches the age of 20, the vision would have been downgraded to probably a semi-detached house and a luxury car. Fast forward another 10 years and the same individual would probably have realigned his or her expectations to owning a terrace house and rationalize that a national car is not that bad after all.

The underlying question is what causes the change in dreams and hopes? How can the same individual be contented to downgrade their own dreams and hopes as time passes by? Is it collective wisdom acquired over the years leading the person to be more realistic or is the individual simply giving up on his or her dreams? The answer could sway either way depending on how the individual would want to view it. Most would argue that the dreams they had earlier were unrealistic and they were too naive back when they had set the goals. Very few would actually acknowledge the fact that they had chose to give up on themselves along the way.

I know of many people who wanted to earn their first million by the time they are in their mid-20s. Sadly so, very few made it. The only person I know of who made it actually earned his first million by the time he was 21 - 4 years ahead of his initial goal. As I tried to ask myself why is it that this one person turned out so much better than his goal whilst others failed so miserably, I attribute this to the fact that many very quickly relinquish their dreams as they find that the journey is not as smooth sailing as they had hoped for and along the way, all the initial hopes that they had vanished into thin air. The ones who actually do make it are probably the hard headed, stubborn individuals who never gave up despite having multiple hard knocks. They are the ones who ruthlessly drive towards their goals and knew no shame. All they had in mind was the vision and as one plan failed, they would continuously seek alternative options that would bring them towards their goals.

I have utmost respect for the individuals who made it as they have demonstrated that nothing can get in the way if one is determined enough to drive towards their goals. This is the power of dreams! This is what differentiates the “wannabes” and the real “go-getters”. Everyone would have their own dreams and hopes and along with that, all individuals are gifted with the power to decide if they could achieve that. This is what many fail to realize and as a majority start coming up with excuses as to why the dreams are not possible, the ones who are conscious about the fact that their own destiny is in their hands are the ones who would eventually emerge as victors. Prior to blaming failure to other factors in time to come, it would be best to remind ourselves that we had the power to decide and it was us who relinquished our own dreams and let our hopes vanish.

You only live once!

Cats have been said to have nine lives but humans on the other hand only live once; unless of course if one believes in reincarnation. However, I have yet to hear of any living human who have been able to give a recollection of their previous life and as such, I would go with the assumption that we only live once.

With that in mind, it again leaves us with choices. Choices on how we would want to lead our life now that we know for sure that we only live once. The obvious answer would be for all to live life to the fullest but it is of extreme interest to see how each individual’s definition of living life to the fullest would differ. I would generally classify the options into three core groups; namely the driver, the explorer and the wanderer.

The Driver would be defined as someone who wants to lead the perfect life as they are the typical perfectionist who would want to plan everything accordingly. A driver would be getting good grades in school and end up graduating at the top of the class, get a decent career as a professional (doctors, engineers, accountants, bankers etc), start a family by the time they hit 30, ensure that their offspring gets a good education and groom them to lead the same life that they had. Drivers are always on top of their game and would do their utmost best to ensure that they do no wrong. They would be your ideal partner, ideal colleague, ideal neighbor and ideal acquaintance who would be contributing back to society and ever willing to offer a helping hand.

The Explorer as expected would be the curious individual who is out to try and explore new things. Explorers would pretty much hold on to the principle that “you need to try everything at least once since you only live one” and many a times, they are the ones who end up getting themselves into trouble for probably exploring much more than they should have. There are no specific way an explorer would choose to lead their life for whatever is planned this moment could change the very next as new opportunity or new options comes about. Things are always unpredictable when it comes to the explorer as they try their best not to make any commitments. Even an appointment made 3 weeks in advance and confirmed an hour ago could be called off simply because a more interesting option popped up.

The Wanderer makes up the core of population with a ratio of 1 Driver = 1 Explorer = 5 Wanderers. They are pretty much the guy or girl next door who would follow the flow and I see wanderers as a hybrid of the driver and the explorer. For the uninitiated, the wanderers could also be defined as the confused group as they are at times planning well in advanced but at other times, procrastinate in decision making until the very last moment. A majority would however see the wanderer as well balanced, taking matters into their stride and varying their choices and options as it comes along. The wanderer could be making right choices at any given time but making the worst call the very next moment but then again, they are the most human as compared to the drivers and the explorers.

Having generally classified the total human population into the 3 groups above, there is no indication as to which is the better group to be in. After all, life is all about choices and it is up to each and every individual to decide how he or she would want to lead their life. Since all of us only live once, the choice is up to us on whether we would want to be driving, exploring or simply wandering….

Replacing "Stress" with "Stretch"

In a recent article titled “Bosses Not To Blame” that was published in the Malay Mail, I read with particular interest the study from Synovate indicating that employees; especially those in KL are being stressed out. Amongst the factors contributing to this included the pressure faced at work especially for those who had to deal with tough bosses. What caught my attention were the comments from Shamsuddin Bardan, the Executive Director of the Malaysia Employers Federation who stated that “Employers are very task-driven in a business environment which is getting tougher and it would be hard for companies to progress if employees are not competitive”.

As I read further, there were opinions from psychologists who stated that the concrete jungle that we live in as well as the hectic hustle and bustle of the city elevates the stress levels. With due credit to the publishers, the article did come with suggestions on how to minimize the stress levels be it via music, meditation, prayers and exercise on top of a healthy diet.

Having read the article and another related comment from a reader; I could not help but to reflect on the article and to pen down my own thoughts as it dawned upon me that this whole saga of employees being too stressed out sounds just like another “Malaysian Excuse”.

In today’s evolving world, all of us work in a fast-paced environment where everyone is expected to multi-task and before we get to complete one task, there’s always another one waiting for us. There is no doubt that such situations could be taxing and demanding on both physical and mental energy causing many people to claim that they are stressed out and need a break. However, if we Malaysians are serious about being a future powerhouse in line with Vision 2020, one of the first things we should do is to remove the word “stress” from our vocabulary. Whilst I am proud to be a Malaysian, it saddens me when I hear my fellow countrymen finding all sorts of excuses for not delivering what is expected. We have heard of athletes competing overseas blaming the cold climate for poor performance, aspiring entrepreneurs blaming lack of government support for failed ventures and unemployed graduates attributing the lack of infrastructure and expertise in local universities being the cause of their incompetence.

For once, if we were to channel our energy in delivering the results rather than to spend time thinking up excuses, we could perhaps achieve a lot more. Back to the topic of stress in the workplace, we need to realize that no one can possibly go on working in a job that creates stress most of the time for it’s just a matter of time before that individual burns out. On the other hand, if we were to use the word “stretch”, it’s simply amazing how much more we can achieve if we were to set our minds on it. I am sure all of us would be pretty amazed if we were to look at the things we have achieved individually and collectively as a nation since independence 50 years ago. Many of the successes and victories we have etched as a nation would not have been possible if the pioneers then felt stressed and decided to forgo the pursuit. I am sure Tunku Abdul Rahman had to go through a lot as he was trying to free the nation back in the 1950s but I doubt he ever felt stressed. Similarly, the following Prime Ministers would have had to endure multiple challenges and as a nation, we would not have been where we are today if either one of them felt stressed and needed to take a break.

There is plenty for us to learn from these national icons and we Malaysians would need to start stepping up and take on the challenge as individuals instead of always blaming an institution for our inefficiencies. In this particular case, a hectic work environment and tough bosses are the scapegoats but if we were to start looking at things from a different angle, we might perhaps feel blessed that the hectic environment probably means a booming economy with plenty of upsides. Similarly, a tough boss could be someone who is pushing us to the edge; enabling us to manifest our full potential. What is lacking now is our willingness to step up to the challenge. I for one welcome this change in the work environment and have long ago erased the word “stress” from my own vocabulary and replaced it with the word “stretch”. If 27 million others in the country would attempt to do the same and try to stretch themselves to do a bit more, I am sure the future is bright for our beloved nation.

To commemorate the 50th birthday of this land we are proud of, Malaysians for once should stop complaining about stress at work but simply start thinking of how we could manage that; if not use it as platform for us to reach new heights. As the saying goes, tension signifies the birth of a new era and if were to overcome the stress we are facing now, we could perhaps achieve a lot more!

Tales of Fortune & Feng Shui

Each year, without fail; there will always be an increased interest in fortune, feng shui and predictions for the upcoming year as we draw nearer towards Chinese New Year. Whilst I would usually flip through the newspapers or magazines to read the summary, I went one step further this year. Thanks to a friend who had persistently recommended me to buy Lillian Too’s guidebook, I got hold of the “2007 Fortune & Feng Shui for Sheeps” which is a personal guidebook for those born in the year of sheep. The book supposedly offers a blueprint for the year’s activities with predictions of good and bad month in the areas of work & career, wealth & business, love & friendship, family & children as well as school & education. It also has a section titled “Enhancing Luck” which provides advice on how to use symbolic enhancers so the year becomes trouble-free. For less than RM20, I doubt we can ask for anything more than what this book already consists of.

The reason, I am scribbling all these down is not to show my prowess in introducing a book as I have no intentions to be doing book reviews. However, I am enthralled with the predictions that are in-store in the upcoming lunar year that starts on February 4th for those born under the Sheep animal sign. As a matter of personal interest, my babblings would revolve mainly around those born between 28 Jan 1979 to 15 Feb 1980 which is the year of the Earth Sheep. To all those lucky enough to be brought to the world during this time, fasten your seatbelt and be prepared for an awesome year as Lillian Too says that, “2007 is the year where the Sheep is truly blessed. Sheeps are the singular most successful animal sign of the year 2007, when everything combines just right to provide the perfect backdrop for success. There is little that will come in your way of achieving victory and success.” In other words, almost nothing can go wrong and almost everything we touch would turn to gold.

Career wise, Sheeps would have a great year and 2007 brings the opportunity for those born in the year of Earth Sheep to “go for the big league and play for large stakes.” Having started working several years back, it’s about time the Earth Sheep unearths his or her true potential and show the rest what they are really capable of. Bosses would be impressed whilst peers would be full of deep respect with the results that are bound to be brought in. 2007 would most likely see promotions and high increments on top of a “silent acknowledgement” that you are now in the big league which separates the boys from the men. For those running their own business, new opportunities might come along and the advice is to be always on the lookout for these hard-to-come-by instances and start socializing more to expand your network.

This year would also hear plenty of “Wedding Bells” for those who have been attached for a while and the stars are just right for what would be a blissful wedded life. Singles need not despair for there will be abundant of options and if one is still single by the end of the year, it’s probably about time to re-look your expectations. Attractive singles of the opposite gender would come flocking towards the Earth Sheep this year and all the sheep would have to do is to make choices. Hmmmm….. I wonder how accurate this is???

When it comes to the other areas such as family, friendship, health etc etc, the luck of the Sheep knows no bounds and there will be no major upsets. This sounds like a paragraph from a children’s fairy tale that never fails to have a happy ending but according to Lillian, this is what the Sheep should be expecting. Certain months would be much better than others and the great months would be Feb, Apr, June, Sept, Oct and Nov whilst Mar, May and July are supposed to be slower months where it is advisable to lay low. Nonetheless, Sheeps can expect nothing less than a “rocking year!” To ensure that all this comes true, Lillian of course does recommend some luck enhancers like placing a golden monkey on top of a golden horse on the office desk or to wear what is called a 21-eyed Tzi. This is just to name a few out of the many other luck enhancers that could be bought at World of Feng Shui… What else would you expect for this lady needs to make some fortune too.

Having finished reading the predictions, I am in a confused state of disbelief for the predictions seem too good to be true. It would be great if everything I were to touch would turn into gold but I doubt that would be the case for I would still need to get up every morning and turn up at work. It would be awesome if attractive singles of the opposite gender would come approaching me but I doubt that would be the case too. In a nutshell, I am definitely taking the predictions with a pinch of salt but I might probably start believing it if by the end of 2007, I have been promoted, got a big increment, hanging out with the big boys and going out with an attractive partner. In the meantime, life goes on as usual but I am definitely eagerly anticipating the months ahead and hopefully, Lillian is right.

My 10 Commandments

Someone asked me a few weeks back if I have any principles in life that shapes my actions and thoughts. Having put some thoughts to it, I figured out that despite me not having any specific principles, there are certain things that I strongly belief in. The following is a list of my “10 Commandments”, in no specific order summarizing how I belief life should be lived.

1. Shape up or shut up – If you’re not satisfied with certain things, either rise to the challenge by doing something to improve the situation or stop complaining & learn to live with it.
2. What if tomorrow never comes? – Live life to the fullest and never live to regret a single day. Be cheerful, be thankful and try to accomplish everything you have set out to do for the day.
3. The glass is always half full – Look at everything from the positive aspect. Things might not change but if we change the way we look at it, there would be a significant difference. Be a ruthless optimist!
4. Eat what you cook! – If you’re intending to do something, always be prepared to face the consequence (be it good or bad). Never blame it on anyone else.
5. Never ask, never know. Never try, never know – When there is something that you are hoping for or have been wanting, do not be afraid to ask for it or try to achieve it. The worse thing that could happen is to be getting “no” as an answer or not getting it. By trying, you would at least have a 1% probability of succeeding as compared to a 100% assurance that you would not be getting anything if you did not even attempt.
6. Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you – Treat everyone with respect and try to see how you can make things a little better for other person. (Belief or not, though this might sound a bit corny; I do consciously remind myself to treat everyone with respect and I do try to make things better for the people I interact with.)
7. All T’s crossed and all I’s dotted – Nothing can be taken for granted and we would need to do all we can to ensure that things fall into place the way we want it to be. What might be an easy way out today will somehow or rather come back to haunt us later. Hard fact of life is that there are no shortcuts.
8. If it’s no longer fun, walk away – Whatever it is we are doing must always be of value to the individual. Do not do it simply because others are asking you to or expecting you to. When it’s no longer something we enjoy doing, always put an end to it and never compromise on this.
9. There are no certainties in life – All good things might come to an end and as such, we should savor it while we can. Life is never a bed of roses and the least expected can always happen. Appreciate everything we have and be prepared to lose it all the very next moment.
10. Rules are meant to be broken – In total contrast to the 9 “commandments” above, I don’t belief in planning for everything. Sometimes, we just have to follow the flow and take risks. As such, the final “commandment” is my “get out of jail free” card which leaves me with some space to maneuver around.

Life is a game!

Although some people think, that life is a battle,
it is actually a game of giving and receiving.
-- Florence Scovel Shinn, Philosopher / Author

I was reading a book and one of the chapters required the reader to complete this sentence with the first word that comes across the mind: “Life is a __________ .”

The first word that came to mind was the word “game”. Life is a game! Thankfully, the first words that came to me was not “bitch” or “challenge” for I can imagine how miserable life could be if I were to see it as a constant struggle. I would not want to be driving around town with a bumper sticker shouting out “Life is a bitch. You live to die another day.”

What then constitutes a game? There needs to be at least one player, there needs to be a way of keeping score to let the player know whether he is winning or losing and more importantly, a game is supposed to be fun; not something that we dread. When I reflected at how this could relate to life, there were surprisingly many similarities.

Every individual is in fact the player in his or her own life. We choose our own destiny, we choose our next moves, we make the calls and we decide what exactly is it that we would want to do. Just like in a game, there could be other players who might try to affect the way we play the game but it is entirely up to us to decide our very next move. Like it or not, life is also like a scorecard for someone is keeping track of the score. At times, we do come out as the victors but at other times, things do not always turn out the way we would want it to be. Achieving what we had set our sights on in life would be considered as a win and when things are heading south, that is when we are losing in the game of life. Life should also be fun as we should live each day with no regrets as if it would be the last day. I would not want to have a miserable day in the hope that the next day would be better. What if there was no tomorrow??? As such, I would want to continue doing all the things to the fullest despite what others tell me for this is my game. I would continue smoking for as long as I feel like smoking. I would continue eating as much fast food and drink as much Coke and coffee for as long as I have the craving for it and I would continue doing all the things that I am doing as long as I think that it is right and for as long as it does not goes against what my heart is telling me.

Some might then ask that if life was a fun game, wouldn’t I want to prolong the game? In order to go into extra-time or the bonus round, I must be doing some of the “right” things such as keeping a healthy diet and quitting smoking. Well, there’s some truth to it but being confined by certain rules and boundaries would take away some of the fun. I might not win every single time but what matters most is that I played the game the way I would have wanted to. Winning is not as glorious and satisfying if I were to play the game of life the way others had wanted me to. Though I hate losing, I would rather end up not winning if I had to choose between losing or living life “pretentiously”.

The following is a “Sportsmen Prayer” that was engraved on a tomb in one corner of my secondary school and it sums up perfectly how I would want to lead my life:

Oh God, Please help me to win, For I always want to win.
But, if in thy inscrutable wisdom, thou willest me not to win,then make me a good loser.
For when the one great scorer comes to write against your name,
He writes not that you won or lost; but HOW YOU PLAYED THE GAME.

The year that was....

As I look back to the past 12 months, I suddenly realized that I have just breezed through an amazing moment. It was a year that had been filled with challenges, joy and despair, successes and failures, ups and downs and more than anything else, it was a year that has shaped me into the person that I am now. Who I am now would be a different person compared to who I was a year ago. The things that I have experienced and witnessed in the past 12 months would have played a pivotal part in changing my thoughts and beliefs. Despite the fact that I am still supporting the same football club, going to the same carwash, working for the same company and hanging out with the same group of friends, many other things have changed. I no longer do my grocery shopping in the same hypermarket, have stopped calling some of the other guys I used to be talking to very frequently and heck, I’ve even started having grey hair! The list could go on but these are just a few of many other things that would have evolved in the past year.

Looking back at the year that was, I had a remarkable year at work intertwined with a packed social calendar but I have had very little time to myself. As busy as I was attending meetings, planning the integration of new brands that my company had acquired, calling colleagues to check on progress of projects and whether we would meet the sales targets; I was also spending a lot of time moving from one place to another to catch up with friends for drinks after work and to go to the next football game that had been arranged. All this were at the expense of my own personal time as I come to realize that I have had very little time to reflect and perhaps relax.

In the one week break I took away from work in the last week of the year, I suddenly felt a vacuum as there was nothing much to keep me occupied. I did not have any reports to submit, friends to go for lunch with or football games to play. I then realized that I no longer have a favorite pastime or neither was there anything that I was really looking forward to. That came as a wake up call as it then dawned upon me that I have been busy for the past 51 weeks doing something which either had little value for myself or probably didn’t even meant much. Well, work was a big part of my year but at the end of the day, I would want to be remembered as someone who did more than just work. I would also want to have tales to be told that does not relate to work. With that, I started to recollect the things that have happened and hopefully, there would be a lot more to recall.

On a lighter note, that was perhaps an indication that I need to start getting a life…

What Will Matter

The following is a poem from Michael Josephson extracted from the book titled "What Really Matters". I've read this book a couple of months back and someone recently sent the poem to me; refreshing my memories of what is it that really does matter.

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you have collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built,
Not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
But how many people will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories of those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s not a matter of circumstances but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

Reflections from the past…

In a fast-paced environment whereby people are more often than not competing with each other to be the first to reach the finishing line, many of us fail to realize that the rat race we are in is a never-ending one. After getting the promotion that you have been hoping for, it would not be long before you start eyeing an even bigger role. After moving into the dream house, it would not be long before you start having thoughts of how nice it would be if only the front yard was a big bigger and if only the ceiling was a big higher. The list goes on…. Desires and wants very quickly become a thing of the past the moment we get hold of it and it would then be replaced with a new list altogether. There have always been and there will always be a list of demands and wishes which we would want and this is part of the human nature where greed lies in one corner of the soul. The more elusive something is, the more we would want to get hold of it.

Whilst I have come to live with the fact that greed is inseparable from mankind, I have also come to realize that we should never cease to take a step back to be thankful of what we currently have and to reflect on the past. Most if not all the great individuals that I have come to know, met or read about are appreciative of what they currently have but similarly, this group of people whom I have deep admiration and respect for always have their sights on the next thing that are currently still eluding them. The one thing that is evading them now is their beacon of hope and what gives them the motivation to get out off bed the following morning to live yet another day.

As we sojourn from the previous year and move into a new one, I started reflecting over the past 12 months. Prior to this, I have put little thoughts on how things were going on in the year that was. Perhaps, I was just too busy running the never-ending rat race. Perhaps, I sub-consciously chose to ignore what was happening around me. Or perhaps, I was just too engrossed with chasing after my desires and wants to the extent that I had forgotten to savor the moment I was in. A friend recently reminded me that life is a journey and that we should always stop to smell the roses.

The birth of this blog marks the inauguration of my journal to pen down my thoughts as I step forward to embrace yet another day.