You only live once!

Cats have been said to have nine lives but humans on the other hand only live once; unless of course if one believes in reincarnation. However, I have yet to hear of any living human who have been able to give a recollection of their previous life and as such, I would go with the assumption that we only live once.

With that in mind, it again leaves us with choices. Choices on how we would want to lead our life now that we know for sure that we only live once. The obvious answer would be for all to live life to the fullest but it is of extreme interest to see how each individual’s definition of living life to the fullest would differ. I would generally classify the options into three core groups; namely the driver, the explorer and the wanderer.

The Driver would be defined as someone who wants to lead the perfect life as they are the typical perfectionist who would want to plan everything accordingly. A driver would be getting good grades in school and end up graduating at the top of the class, get a decent career as a professional (doctors, engineers, accountants, bankers etc), start a family by the time they hit 30, ensure that their offspring gets a good education and groom them to lead the same life that they had. Drivers are always on top of their game and would do their utmost best to ensure that they do no wrong. They would be your ideal partner, ideal colleague, ideal neighbor and ideal acquaintance who would be contributing back to society and ever willing to offer a helping hand.

The Explorer as expected would be the curious individual who is out to try and explore new things. Explorers would pretty much hold on to the principle that “you need to try everything at least once since you only live one” and many a times, they are the ones who end up getting themselves into trouble for probably exploring much more than they should have. There are no specific way an explorer would choose to lead their life for whatever is planned this moment could change the very next as new opportunity or new options comes about. Things are always unpredictable when it comes to the explorer as they try their best not to make any commitments. Even an appointment made 3 weeks in advance and confirmed an hour ago could be called off simply because a more interesting option popped up.

The Wanderer makes up the core of population with a ratio of 1 Driver = 1 Explorer = 5 Wanderers. They are pretty much the guy or girl next door who would follow the flow and I see wanderers as a hybrid of the driver and the explorer. For the uninitiated, the wanderers could also be defined as the confused group as they are at times planning well in advanced but at other times, procrastinate in decision making until the very last moment. A majority would however see the wanderer as well balanced, taking matters into their stride and varying their choices and options as it comes along. The wanderer could be making right choices at any given time but making the worst call the very next moment but then again, they are the most human as compared to the drivers and the explorers.

Having generally classified the total human population into the 3 groups above, there is no indication as to which is the better group to be in. After all, life is all about choices and it is up to each and every individual to decide how he or she would want to lead their life. Since all of us only live once, the choice is up to us on whether we would want to be driving, exploring or simply wandering….

Replacing "Stress" with "Stretch"

In a recent article titled “Bosses Not To Blame” that was published in the Malay Mail, I read with particular interest the study from Synovate indicating that employees; especially those in KL are being stressed out. Amongst the factors contributing to this included the pressure faced at work especially for those who had to deal with tough bosses. What caught my attention were the comments from Shamsuddin Bardan, the Executive Director of the Malaysia Employers Federation who stated that “Employers are very task-driven in a business environment which is getting tougher and it would be hard for companies to progress if employees are not competitive”.

As I read further, there were opinions from psychologists who stated that the concrete jungle that we live in as well as the hectic hustle and bustle of the city elevates the stress levels. With due credit to the publishers, the article did come with suggestions on how to minimize the stress levels be it via music, meditation, prayers and exercise on top of a healthy diet.

Having read the article and another related comment from a reader; I could not help but to reflect on the article and to pen down my own thoughts as it dawned upon me that this whole saga of employees being too stressed out sounds just like another “Malaysian Excuse”.

In today’s evolving world, all of us work in a fast-paced environment where everyone is expected to multi-task and before we get to complete one task, there’s always another one waiting for us. There is no doubt that such situations could be taxing and demanding on both physical and mental energy causing many people to claim that they are stressed out and need a break. However, if we Malaysians are serious about being a future powerhouse in line with Vision 2020, one of the first things we should do is to remove the word “stress” from our vocabulary. Whilst I am proud to be a Malaysian, it saddens me when I hear my fellow countrymen finding all sorts of excuses for not delivering what is expected. We have heard of athletes competing overseas blaming the cold climate for poor performance, aspiring entrepreneurs blaming lack of government support for failed ventures and unemployed graduates attributing the lack of infrastructure and expertise in local universities being the cause of their incompetence.

For once, if we were to channel our energy in delivering the results rather than to spend time thinking up excuses, we could perhaps achieve a lot more. Back to the topic of stress in the workplace, we need to realize that no one can possibly go on working in a job that creates stress most of the time for it’s just a matter of time before that individual burns out. On the other hand, if we were to use the word “stretch”, it’s simply amazing how much more we can achieve if we were to set our minds on it. I am sure all of us would be pretty amazed if we were to look at the things we have achieved individually and collectively as a nation since independence 50 years ago. Many of the successes and victories we have etched as a nation would not have been possible if the pioneers then felt stressed and decided to forgo the pursuit. I am sure Tunku Abdul Rahman had to go through a lot as he was trying to free the nation back in the 1950s but I doubt he ever felt stressed. Similarly, the following Prime Ministers would have had to endure multiple challenges and as a nation, we would not have been where we are today if either one of them felt stressed and needed to take a break.

There is plenty for us to learn from these national icons and we Malaysians would need to start stepping up and take on the challenge as individuals instead of always blaming an institution for our inefficiencies. In this particular case, a hectic work environment and tough bosses are the scapegoats but if we were to start looking at things from a different angle, we might perhaps feel blessed that the hectic environment probably means a booming economy with plenty of upsides. Similarly, a tough boss could be someone who is pushing us to the edge; enabling us to manifest our full potential. What is lacking now is our willingness to step up to the challenge. I for one welcome this change in the work environment and have long ago erased the word “stress” from my own vocabulary and replaced it with the word “stretch”. If 27 million others in the country would attempt to do the same and try to stretch themselves to do a bit more, I am sure the future is bright for our beloved nation.

To commemorate the 50th birthday of this land we are proud of, Malaysians for once should stop complaining about stress at work but simply start thinking of how we could manage that; if not use it as platform for us to reach new heights. As the saying goes, tension signifies the birth of a new era and if were to overcome the stress we are facing now, we could perhaps achieve a lot more!

Tales of Fortune & Feng Shui

Each year, without fail; there will always be an increased interest in fortune, feng shui and predictions for the upcoming year as we draw nearer towards Chinese New Year. Whilst I would usually flip through the newspapers or magazines to read the summary, I went one step further this year. Thanks to a friend who had persistently recommended me to buy Lillian Too’s guidebook, I got hold of the “2007 Fortune & Feng Shui for Sheeps” which is a personal guidebook for those born in the year of sheep. The book supposedly offers a blueprint for the year’s activities with predictions of good and bad month in the areas of work & career, wealth & business, love & friendship, family & children as well as school & education. It also has a section titled “Enhancing Luck” which provides advice on how to use symbolic enhancers so the year becomes trouble-free. For less than RM20, I doubt we can ask for anything more than what this book already consists of.

The reason, I am scribbling all these down is not to show my prowess in introducing a book as I have no intentions to be doing book reviews. However, I am enthralled with the predictions that are in-store in the upcoming lunar year that starts on February 4th for those born under the Sheep animal sign. As a matter of personal interest, my babblings would revolve mainly around those born between 28 Jan 1979 to 15 Feb 1980 which is the year of the Earth Sheep. To all those lucky enough to be brought to the world during this time, fasten your seatbelt and be prepared for an awesome year as Lillian Too says that, “2007 is the year where the Sheep is truly blessed. Sheeps are the singular most successful animal sign of the year 2007, when everything combines just right to provide the perfect backdrop for success. There is little that will come in your way of achieving victory and success.” In other words, almost nothing can go wrong and almost everything we touch would turn to gold.

Career wise, Sheeps would have a great year and 2007 brings the opportunity for those born in the year of Earth Sheep to “go for the big league and play for large stakes.” Having started working several years back, it’s about time the Earth Sheep unearths his or her true potential and show the rest what they are really capable of. Bosses would be impressed whilst peers would be full of deep respect with the results that are bound to be brought in. 2007 would most likely see promotions and high increments on top of a “silent acknowledgement” that you are now in the big league which separates the boys from the men. For those running their own business, new opportunities might come along and the advice is to be always on the lookout for these hard-to-come-by instances and start socializing more to expand your network.

This year would also hear plenty of “Wedding Bells” for those who have been attached for a while and the stars are just right for what would be a blissful wedded life. Singles need not despair for there will be abundant of options and if one is still single by the end of the year, it’s probably about time to re-look your expectations. Attractive singles of the opposite gender would come flocking towards the Earth Sheep this year and all the sheep would have to do is to make choices. Hmmmm….. I wonder how accurate this is???

When it comes to the other areas such as family, friendship, health etc etc, the luck of the Sheep knows no bounds and there will be no major upsets. This sounds like a paragraph from a children’s fairy tale that never fails to have a happy ending but according to Lillian, this is what the Sheep should be expecting. Certain months would be much better than others and the great months would be Feb, Apr, June, Sept, Oct and Nov whilst Mar, May and July are supposed to be slower months where it is advisable to lay low. Nonetheless, Sheeps can expect nothing less than a “rocking year!” To ensure that all this comes true, Lillian of course does recommend some luck enhancers like placing a golden monkey on top of a golden horse on the office desk or to wear what is called a 21-eyed Tzi. This is just to name a few out of the many other luck enhancers that could be bought at World of Feng Shui… What else would you expect for this lady needs to make some fortune too.

Having finished reading the predictions, I am in a confused state of disbelief for the predictions seem too good to be true. It would be great if everything I were to touch would turn into gold but I doubt that would be the case for I would still need to get up every morning and turn up at work. It would be awesome if attractive singles of the opposite gender would come approaching me but I doubt that would be the case too. In a nutshell, I am definitely taking the predictions with a pinch of salt but I might probably start believing it if by the end of 2007, I have been promoted, got a big increment, hanging out with the big boys and going out with an attractive partner. In the meantime, life goes on as usual but I am definitely eagerly anticipating the months ahead and hopefully, Lillian is right.

My 10 Commandments

Someone asked me a few weeks back if I have any principles in life that shapes my actions and thoughts. Having put some thoughts to it, I figured out that despite me not having any specific principles, there are certain things that I strongly belief in. The following is a list of my “10 Commandments”, in no specific order summarizing how I belief life should be lived.

1. Shape up or shut up – If you’re not satisfied with certain things, either rise to the challenge by doing something to improve the situation or stop complaining & learn to live with it.
2. What if tomorrow never comes? – Live life to the fullest and never live to regret a single day. Be cheerful, be thankful and try to accomplish everything you have set out to do for the day.
3. The glass is always half full – Look at everything from the positive aspect. Things might not change but if we change the way we look at it, there would be a significant difference. Be a ruthless optimist!
4. Eat what you cook! – If you’re intending to do something, always be prepared to face the consequence (be it good or bad). Never blame it on anyone else.
5. Never ask, never know. Never try, never know – When there is something that you are hoping for or have been wanting, do not be afraid to ask for it or try to achieve it. The worse thing that could happen is to be getting “no” as an answer or not getting it. By trying, you would at least have a 1% probability of succeeding as compared to a 100% assurance that you would not be getting anything if you did not even attempt.
6. Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you – Treat everyone with respect and try to see how you can make things a little better for other person. (Belief or not, though this might sound a bit corny; I do consciously remind myself to treat everyone with respect and I do try to make things better for the people I interact with.)
7. All T’s crossed and all I’s dotted – Nothing can be taken for granted and we would need to do all we can to ensure that things fall into place the way we want it to be. What might be an easy way out today will somehow or rather come back to haunt us later. Hard fact of life is that there are no shortcuts.
8. If it’s no longer fun, walk away – Whatever it is we are doing must always be of value to the individual. Do not do it simply because others are asking you to or expecting you to. When it’s no longer something we enjoy doing, always put an end to it and never compromise on this.
9. There are no certainties in life – All good things might come to an end and as such, we should savor it while we can. Life is never a bed of roses and the least expected can always happen. Appreciate everything we have and be prepared to lose it all the very next moment.
10. Rules are meant to be broken – In total contrast to the 9 “commandments” above, I don’t belief in planning for everything. Sometimes, we just have to follow the flow and take risks. As such, the final “commandment” is my “get out of jail free” card which leaves me with some space to maneuver around.

Life is a game!

Although some people think, that life is a battle,
it is actually a game of giving and receiving.
-- Florence Scovel Shinn, Philosopher / Author

I was reading a book and one of the chapters required the reader to complete this sentence with the first word that comes across the mind: “Life is a __________ .”

The first word that came to mind was the word “game”. Life is a game! Thankfully, the first words that came to me was not “bitch” or “challenge” for I can imagine how miserable life could be if I were to see it as a constant struggle. I would not want to be driving around town with a bumper sticker shouting out “Life is a bitch. You live to die another day.”

What then constitutes a game? There needs to be at least one player, there needs to be a way of keeping score to let the player know whether he is winning or losing and more importantly, a game is supposed to be fun; not something that we dread. When I reflected at how this could relate to life, there were surprisingly many similarities.

Every individual is in fact the player in his or her own life. We choose our own destiny, we choose our next moves, we make the calls and we decide what exactly is it that we would want to do. Just like in a game, there could be other players who might try to affect the way we play the game but it is entirely up to us to decide our very next move. Like it or not, life is also like a scorecard for someone is keeping track of the score. At times, we do come out as the victors but at other times, things do not always turn out the way we would want it to be. Achieving what we had set our sights on in life would be considered as a win and when things are heading south, that is when we are losing in the game of life. Life should also be fun as we should live each day with no regrets as if it would be the last day. I would not want to have a miserable day in the hope that the next day would be better. What if there was no tomorrow??? As such, I would want to continue doing all the things to the fullest despite what others tell me for this is my game. I would continue smoking for as long as I feel like smoking. I would continue eating as much fast food and drink as much Coke and coffee for as long as I have the craving for it and I would continue doing all the things that I am doing as long as I think that it is right and for as long as it does not goes against what my heart is telling me.

Some might then ask that if life was a fun game, wouldn’t I want to prolong the game? In order to go into extra-time or the bonus round, I must be doing some of the “right” things such as keeping a healthy diet and quitting smoking. Well, there’s some truth to it but being confined by certain rules and boundaries would take away some of the fun. I might not win every single time but what matters most is that I played the game the way I would have wanted to. Winning is not as glorious and satisfying if I were to play the game of life the way others had wanted me to. Though I hate losing, I would rather end up not winning if I had to choose between losing or living life “pretentiously”.

The following is a “Sportsmen Prayer” that was engraved on a tomb in one corner of my secondary school and it sums up perfectly how I would want to lead my life:

Oh God, Please help me to win, For I always want to win.
But, if in thy inscrutable wisdom, thou willest me not to win,then make me a good loser.
For when the one great scorer comes to write against your name,
He writes not that you won or lost; but HOW YOU PLAYED THE GAME.